(including a bedtime plan & practical daily tips!)

We’ve all been there. The clock’s reading 11pm and you find yourself lying in bed, thinking about all the mishaps of the day. “Why did I reply like that? Maybe I should have said _____ instead of ______!” 

The reality that we all know to be true, is that no one else has even thought twice about the weird way you picked the coffee cup off the barista counter (too real, right?) 

But somehow, our brains trick us into believing that others are also thinking about the monotonous, irrelevant actions of our lives. Why does it do that? 

Well, here’s the first truth: overthinking, anxiety, rumination, whatever you want to call it, loves to put you at the centre of everyone else's universe. Remember being a teenager? Yep. Exactly like that. The reality is that most people just don’t really notice or care.

But that part of the brain (let’s call her the self-conscious teen) loves to convince you that everyone is always paying attention to you. Not to say you aren’t awesome, but trust me when I say, everyone else is too preoccupied with themselves. 

The good news is that overthinking isn’t a permanent trait. It’s a pattern your brain has learned, and like any pattern, it can be reshaped. By understanding what’s happening in your brain, you can use practical strategies to quiet the mental noise and build a more balanced way of thinking.

When you’re overthinking, two main parts of your brain are at play:

The amygdala: This is your brain’s alarm system. It detects threats—real or imagined—and sets off your body’s stress response. Or what I like to call, the chaos region of your brain. 

The prefrontal cortex: This is your “thinking brain.” It helps you plan, reason, and regulate emotions. The calm, “ok I can handle this” part. 

When the amygdala is highly active, it floods the system with signals of danger. This makes it harder for the prefrontal cortex to step in and calm things down. You end up stuck in a loop: worry triggers stress, stress keeps the amygdala fired up, and logical thinking struggles to break through. This is, as Dr. Dan Siegel, likes to say “flipping your lid”.

Name It to Tame It
Research shows that simply labelling an emotion can reduce activity in the amygdala. Next time you notice your mind spiralling, pause and check in with yourself, ask yourself, "what's coming up for me right now? Do I recognize this feeling as worry, embarrassment, or something else? (a feelings wheel  can be very helpful here!) This engages your prefrontal cortex and gives your brain a foothold to shift gears.

Create a “Worry Window”
Instead of trying to eliminate worrying altogether (which usually backfires), schedule a short block of time—say, 15 minutes in the evening—for your mind to freely worry or problem-solve. During the day, when a thought pops up, remind yourself: “I’ll deal with this at 7 pm.” Over time, this containment helps reduce the frequency and intensity of worry spirals.

Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body
Movement interrupts the feedback loop between the amygdala and prefrontal cortex. A short walk, stretching, or even changing your posture sends new sensory information to the brain, signaling that you’re not under immediate threat. Neuroscience research shows that physical activity also boosts neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, which improve mood and clarity. (Hence why you always feel better after a walk).

Use the “3-3-3” Grounding Technique

When your thoughts race, bring your attention to the present moment:

• Name 3 things you can see.
• Name 3 things you can hear.
• Move 3 parts of your body (roll your shoulders, stretch your neck, tap your feet).

This simple exercise activates your sensory systems and helps quiet the overactive mental chatter.

Challenge the “What Ifs” with “What Is”
Overthinking often lives in the future: “What if I mess up? What if they judge me?” Shift your brain’s focus by asking: “What is true right now?” Bringing your mind to the facts of the present moment pulls your prefrontal cortex back online and helps calm the alarm system.

Practice Small Joys, Not Big Fixes
When you’re caught in overthinking, you don’t always need a grand solution—you need a small shift. Evidence shows that small acts of joy or kindness (listening to a favourite song, stepping outside, texting a friend) can regulate your nervous system and create space from rumination.

Nighttime can be the hardest. Your day slows down, distractions fade, and your brain suddenly has space to flood you with thoughts. Worst of all, you’re tired and have less capacity to stop it. 

Here are practical takeaways to calm the loop at bedtime:

1. Do a “Brain Dump” Before Bed
Spend 5–10 minutes writing down worries, to-dos, or nagging thoughts before you get into bed. This tells your brain, “I’ve stored this somewhere safe—I don’t need to rehearse it all night.” Studies show that even jotting a short to-do list reduces sleep latency (the time it takes to fall asleep).

2. Try a Body Scan
Instead of arguing with your thoughts, gently shift focus to your body. Start at your toes and slowly bring awareness up through your legs, torso, arms, and face. This calms the nervous system, lowers heart rate, and helps ease your body toward sleep.

3. Use Breath to Soothe the Amygdala
Slow breathing signals safety to the brain. One evidence-based technique: inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 6–8 counts. The longer exhale activates the parasympathetic nervous system, dialing down stress signals from the amygdala.

4. Get Out of Bed if Needed
If your thoughts won’t settle after about twenty minutes, get up and do something low-stimulation (like reading under dim light or stretching). This helps rewire your brain to associate your bed with rest, not overthinking. Return only when sleepy. This is a great tip from Dr. Matt Walker (podcast here)

5. Anchor with Sensory Cues
Keep a calming object by your bed—a lavender sachet, a smooth stone, or a favorite blanket. Engaging your senses pulls you out of abstract thought and back into the safety of the present moment.

Overthinking is not a sign of weakness or lack of control—it’s your brain trying (and sometimes failing) to keep you safe. By understanding the neuroscience behind it, you can work with your brain instead of against it.

• Labelling emotions calms the amygdala.
• Movement, grounding, and small joys disrupt the thought loop.
• At night, rituals like journalling, body scans, and slow breathing retrain your brain to associate bedtime with rest.

Breaking the habit of overthinking takes practice, but every time you use one of these tools, you’re strengthening new neural pathways. With time, the spiral quiets, and space opens for more clarity, calm, and restorative sleep.

Working to calm the brain, and rewire these patterns, is something I truly adore working with. If you find yourself struggling, please reach out.

We’d love nothing more than to go for a walk with you! 

With love, 

Julia, RCC