I've noticed a pattern over the years that surprises a lot of people.

Some of my clients have lived in Squamish for six months. Others have been here for ten years. They're in their twenties, forties, retired, single, partnered, parents, entrepreneurs, shift workers, and everything in between. Yet, a really common thing that I hear within the therapy context, and also my own experience, is how challenging it is to make friends here.

If that's you, I want you to know something first: you're not the only one.

Squamish has a reputation for being incredibly friendly. People smile on the trails, chat at coffee shops, and wave as they pass each other on mountain bikes. Yet for many people, those interactions never seem to become real friendships. It becomes a whole lot of “let’s get together for a coffee or dinner sometime” yet the plans never come through.

This disconnect can be incredibly painful.

It's easy to look around and think everyone else already has their community. They have their climbing partners, ski crew, trail running group, camping friends, or neighbours they've known for years.

Meanwhile, you're wondering why every weekend still feels a little lonely.

What makes it even harder is that many people move here for connection. They leave larger cities hoping for a stronger sense of community, only to find themselves feeling more isolated than before.

Humans are wired for belonging.

Friendship isn't just a nice bonus to life, it plays an important role in our mental and physical wellbeing. Research consistently shows that meaningful social connection protects against anxiety, depression, stress, and even chronic illness.

When we don't feel like we belong, our brains often interpret it as something being wrong with us.

We start asking ourselves questions like:

• Why am I the only one struggling?
• Am I too awkward?
• Am I not interesting enough?
• Why does everyone else make it look so easy?

The problem is that these conclusions usually aren't true, but they do keep us feeling stuck.

Squamish is full of incredible people, but it's also a town with some unique challenges.

Many residents didn't grow up here. People move frequently for work, outdoor recreation, or relationships. Social circles often form around activities like climbing, mountain biking, skiing, or trail running, which can unintentionally feel intimidating if you're new or don't identify with those communities.

Many people are also incredibly busy. Between work, commuting, outdoor adventures, family responsibilities, and simply trying to keep up with the cost of living, there isn't always much time left for intentionally building friendships.

The result? Lots of people quietly wanting more connection, while assuming everyone else already has it figured out.

Friendship Usually Starts With Familiarity

One misconception is that friendships happen through one amazing conversation.More often, they happen because you see the same people repeatedly.

Psychologists call this the mere exposure effect: the more we encounter someone, the more comfortable and connected we tend to feel. That means friendship is less about finding the "perfect" event and more about becoming a regular somewhere.

If you're feeling lonely in Squamish, try thinking less about "making friends" and more about creating repeated opportunities for connection.

That might look like:

• Joining one of the free weekly run groups at Capra Running, whether you're an experienced runner or simply looking for consistent faces to see each week. Their community offers multiple free weekly group runs designed to be welcoming and social.
• Attending author talks, book clubs, workshops, or community events at the Brackendale Art Gallery (The BAG), which has become a gathering place for people with a wide range of interests.
• Visiting Squamish Arts Council events or local creative workshops.
• Checking out the Squamish Farmers' Market on Saturdays and striking up conversations with familiar vendors.
• Joining a local book club through Gather Bookshop or the Squamish Public Library, both of which host regular community discussions.
• Volunteering with local organizations or community events. Working alongside people toward a shared goal often creates connection much more naturally than networking ever does.

Notice that none of these suggestions are about forcing yourself to be outgoing.They're about giving connection enough repetitions to grow.

One thing I often encourage clients to remember is this:

You don't need ten close friends.

You probably need one or two people you feel safe texting when you've had a hard week. Those friendships rarely appear overnight.

One of my favorite quotes I’ve heard recently is “in order to have a village, you need to be a villager”.

Feeling lonely doesn't mean you're unlikeable. It doesn't mean you've missed your chance. And it certainly doesn't mean everyone else has life figured out.

In fact, if therapy has taught me anything, it's that loneliness is often much more common than it appears. Many of the people you pass on the trail, chat with at the coffee shop, or see at community events are hoping for the exact same thing you are: someone to genuinely connect with.

Sometimes the hardest part isn't making the first friend, it’s about actually putting yourself in the position to be open to meaningful friendships.

If this is something you've been struggling with, know that it's also something we can explore together in therapy. Loneliness isn't simply about having more people around you, it's about understanding what gets in the way of connection, challenging the stories we tell ourselves when we feel left out, and building the confidence to keep showing up, even when it feels vulnerable.