And when we’re feeling low, it gets worse. Sometimes, we find ourselves hiding away, declining invitations to engage with others. We may not have the energy or capacity to reach out.

This kind of self-isolation doesn’t usually start with a dramatic door slam and a vow to be alone forever. It often begins with little things: avoiding calls, telling yourself and others that you’re “just tired.” Over time, it becomes easier to stay in, harder to reach out.

But humans aren’t wired to go it alone. We’re social creatures, which means our nervous systems literally require safe connection with others at times in order to regulate. Prolonged isolation can increase symptoms of anxiety, depression, and even physical illness. It can also mess with your sense of reality—when no one is around to reflect back your thoughts or challenge your inner critic, the tough stuff can echo louder.

This is a current crisis of our times. Read anything on the impacts of loneliness, and you’ll see just how dangerous this can be. 

A 2022 report from the Center for Disease Control  associates loneliness and isolation with increased risk of heart disease, stroke, dementia, diabetes, anxiety disorders, and earlier mortality.

If you’re reading this and realizing that you could use some more social connection and supports, here are a few gentle ways to reconnect:

• Start small. Message one person you miss. Don’t overthink it. (Hey, been thinking about you, would love to catch up and grab dinner!)
• Say yes more often. Accept the coffee invite. Join the trivia night. Go to that thing your neighbour keeps mentioning.
• Find common ground. Join a local group, workout class, running group, library writing group, or volunteer project. Shared purpose is one of the fastest ways to build connection. 
• Be the reacher-outer. Don’t wait for someone else to make the first move. (Yes, even if it feels like you’re always the one reaching out, STILL DO IT).

With that said, I understand at a visceral level of how hard it is to struggle with making friends or feeling disconnected. I’ve been there. When I first moved to Squamish, I knew a grand total of one person… boy oh boy in those first few months (honestly first few years), it felt like a vortex of missing home and the friends I’d had for my entire life, missing family, feeling uncertain if I would ever make the type of friends that feel like family. 

Something I wish I’d been told back then is that nothing changes if you don’t put yourself out there. Yes, wallow in a little bit of sadness, AND reach out in groups and to others. 

It’s impossible to make friends if you spend all your free time alone in the forest (I know… big sigh). If only!

And just in case you need a little nudge backed by numbers—another reminder here that social isolation is a serious health issue.

• In 2023 U.S. Surgeon General recently stated that isolation poses the same health risks as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. (Read about it here). 
• Lonely people are 50% more likely to die prematurely than those with strong social ties.
• Isolation has been linked to increased risk of heart disease, cognitive decline, depression, and anxiety.
• On the flip side, strong social connection improves immune function, emotional resilience, and overall well-being.

Whether you’re in therapy or not, you need people. We all do. Not perfect people, but real ones—ones who can walk beside you, remind you who you are, and help hold your hand when everything feels heavy.

So if you’ve been telling yourself that being self-sufficient means doing it all alone, consider this your gentle nudge: It’s okay to need your people. 

And if therapy helps you build the confidence or clarity to show up in community more fully—amazing. But don’t stop there.

Let yourself be known. Let yourself be loved.

You matter.

Love, Julia & Heather, True Nature Wilderness Therapy