New understanding of the nervous system supports a more gentle approach to therapy.

It was long thought that just talking about a problem would make it go away or at least alleviate distress. Sometimes, in therapeutic work, it can seem like a success if we gather a group together, invite them to share, and somebody cries or has an emotional experience. This can be a success. But it isn’t always. 

The tears and apparent break-throughs may make us, as facilitators, feel as though something has happened. But we can only know that what happened is positive and helpful if it has helped the client heal or learn to negotiate an old emotional injury in a new way. And we won’t always know, unless we check in. And even when we do check in, we have to remember that because of the power dynamics at play, the participants will want to please us and may not share, or even be fully aware of, their authentic experience. 

For example, a therapist or coach might offer a well-meaning interpretation or invite a powerful somatic process that seems to land beautifully in the moment—but unless they circle back later with genuine curiosity and openness, they may never realize the client felt overwhelmed or retraumatized. Because of the relational power dynamic, the client might have smiled, nodded, or even said “that was helpful,” when inside they were bracing or dissociating. The Right Use of Power approach reminds us that ethical practice isn’t just about our intentions—it’s about the impact, and staying willing to be lovingly accountable for both. This whole healing thing can be quite complex!

You might be wondering whether this reflection applies only to counsellors. The reality is that many helping professionals — from coaches to wellness practitioners — are inviting people into spaces where strong emotions and even trauma responses can surface. Unlike counsellors, who are trained in ethics, boundaries, and trauma-informed approaches, many coaches and facilitators don’t receive this kind of preparation. That doesn’t make their work unhelpful, but it does mean there’s a risk when powerful emotions are stirred without the training to hold and integrate them safely. If you’re practicing outside of counselling, it’s important to seek trauma-informed training or, at the very least, learn how to recognize signs of traumatic activation and refer clients to a licensed professional. For those seeking support, it’s worth asking about a practitioner’s training and approach so you can choose a space where emotional expression is met with safety, care, and skill — rather than simply release for release’s sake.

New research into the nervous system and the way we heal suggests that staying within or adjacent to our window of tolerance in a supported therapeutic relationship as we experience emotion, sensation and movement is most supportive for renegotiating traumatic patterns. The window of tolerance is a term coined by Daniel Siegel that describes the optimal emotional zone that supports functioning and thriving in our lives. 

While the intensity of crying, or sharing a hard memory may sometimes feel relieving for a moment, we don’t want to run the risk of causing an individual to relive the experience, as this can often occur with an intensity that takes us outside our window of tolerance, which then makes healing impossible, and re-harm likely. (You can see how subtle this can be, based on the story I share about what happened to me in my First, Do No Harm  article). Our goal as clinicians in accessing traumatic experience is to tenderly revisit the original wound, but in a new way - bolstering the client with the resources, safety, and relational support that was lacking when the wounding happened. This is the support that makes the difference between a hard experience and a trauma - the support that would have made all the difference, had it been in place at the time the bad thing happened. If we bring up traumatic activation without new support in place, we risk re-injury.  If we mindfully approach the trauma from a place of connection, agency, strength, wise adult presence, and companionship, we support the client in a new experience of facing the experience and being able to cope.

Two skillful practitioners in the realm of trauma-resolution expand upon these kinds of psychological wounds, how to ethically support healing, and most of all, where possible, how to prevent this type of emotional injury in the first place.

Jessica Carlin is a Registered Massage Therapist (RMT) trained in Peter Levine’s Somatic Experiencing (SE) work who offers workshops and mentors other healthcare practitioners. Erica Otto, a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP), writer, dancer and healer, originally trained as a Kinesiologist (like me!) has devoted her life to bringing wellness, trauma-resolution and flourishing to others. Somatic Experiencing is a very specific training, not to be confused with the trending word ‘somatic’ which is not regulated in any way and simply means ‘body’.

Between the two of them, Erica and Jessica have over 50 combined years of direct experience in this ‘trending’ field.

In the world of healing, more intensity doesn’t always equal more transformation. In fact, catharsis—what often looks like big emotional releases, tears, trembling, or dramatic shifts—can often be mistaken for true healing. But as Jessica Carlin shares, “the conditions are not different enough from the original traumatic event for the individual to actually be able to renegotiate the event. So... nothing is different in the external or internal environment. You’re just resetting the needle to zero.” Without the safety, attunement, and containment necessary for trauma renegotiation, people may simply re-enact their pain instead of integrating it. This can keep us in an endless vortex of reliving painful, old moments over and over again.

This is why a trauma-informed approach isn’t just a buzzword—it’s a necessity. Erica Otto explains, “our trauma patterns are cyclical, and the way that we renegotiate trauma is cyclical. So you will actually work through the same traumas over time, improving the capacity and coherence in your system as you go.” True trauma renegotiation isn’t about extracting or purging what hurts. It’s about moving slowly, organically, and relationally—bringing breath, body, and story into coherence under the right conditions. This requires a felt sense of safety, belonging and trust.

What we choose to call “healing work” matters deeply. Whether in a yoga class, coaching session, or group circle, creating spaces that honour boundaries, consent, and nervous system regulation is critical. As Jessica notes, “Safe does not equal trauma-informed. They’re different things.” 

In trauma therapy, the word safe is often used with the best of intentions — to mean welcoming, comfortable, or non-threatening. And yes, a sense of safety is essential for healing. But being trauma-informed goes far beyond simply creating a safe environment.

A space can feel safe without being trauma-informed. For example, a beautifully decorated office with a calm therapist may feel safe, but if the therapist doesn’t understand how trauma impacts the nervous system, memory, and behavior, they may unintentionally re‑traumatize a client. Trauma-informed practice isn’t just about being kind or offering comfort. It’s about holding an awareness of the pervasive impact of trauma and actively structuring every aspect of care — from intake forms to session pacing — with that awareness at the centre.

Where safe might mean “no obvious threats,” trauma-informed means:

• Recognizing triggers and avoiding practices that may activate a client’s trauma response, even when they seem benign to others.
• Centering choice and collaboration, so clients never feel coerced or powerless, which are common echoes of traumatic experiences.
• Attending to the body as well as the mind, since trauma often lives somatically.
• Understanding power dynamics, and working consciously to reduce the hierarchy between therapist and client.
• Prioritizing transparency and predictability, so clients know what to expect and can build trust slowly.

In short: safety is important, but a trauma-informed approach to healing work is both essential and intentional. It’s a practice, not just a sense, or an atmosphere. It requires training, reflection, and humility. You can have safety without being trauma-informed, but you cannot be truly trauma-informed without cultivating safety.

For those drawn to help others heal: begin with your own work, seek deep training, and understand that some paths—like trauma renegotiation—require not just tools, but integrity, humility, and years of education, apprenticeship, and personal practice. Trauma healing is nuanced and sacred. Let’s treat it that way.

Co-written by:

Heather Hendrie, Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC)

Erica Otto, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP) 

Jessica Carlin, Registered Massage Therapist (RMT) & Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP)

If you’d like to explore this further with Heather, feel free to book your free mentorship consult here.

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